Most days I love my job.
I really do.
But there truly are days that I question my capability to handle this job. Right now I am trying desperately to get everything ready for the 2010 season of Adult Summer Reading Program. And although this is my third year doing it, I still find myself worrying incessantly that it won't be good enough or successful enough.
I think some of this fear stems from some recent failures I've had with programs. I had a series of programs in March as part of a "Spring Cleaning Series" and almost quite literally no one showed up! It was such an embarrassment to me as a program coordinator to look at the speaker and say "well, I'm really sorry, but it doesn't look like anyone is going to show." Thankfully, all of the speakers were kind enough to not be offended by it, but it still made me feel awful.
And so, I find myself at a crossroads. Where do I go from here? Do I need to readjust my expectations as to what makes a successful program? I know I can't throw in the towel. But I know that what happened in March is simply unacceptable to me. What's a girl to do?
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